Sep 7, 2010

Making Peace With My Body

Yesterday I headed out for a small run. Pete stayed homed because the day before he kicked-ass in the St. Croix River Triathlon. I left him curled up on the couch with a cat and I headed out. My legs felt good, my mind was wandering and there was no rhyme or reason to my pace. This was the kind of run that I wish I could have every day. As I approached my turn around point, I realized that I didn’t want to turn around. So instead, I turned left to loop around the lake clockwise. Since I was running alone my pace varied considerably. As I felt stronger I went faster, when I was feeling winded I slowed down a bit. The air coming off the lake was crisp and cool. This was a good run.

At one point I remember thanking my feet for doing such great work. And this is where the peace began. In October I’ll undergo foot surgery. I’m having a Lapidus Bunionectomy, because apparently I’m a 90-year old woman. If I’m going to have bursitis in my shoulder, I might as well have a bunion on my foot. Surgery is needed for the bunion. Aside from having a couple of pins in my foot, being in a cast for more than a month, being in a boot for another month, I will not be doing any kind of running, biking, yoga, etc., for a solid four months. This is an elective surgery, but having lived with pain in my foot for the better part of ten years, I don't really have much of a choice. Another year of running and I don't think I'll be able to run at all. Choosing to have the surgery in the fall and not the summer is the best part of all of this. I can catch up on my reading, knitting, and focus any exercise on my core and upper body.

It was during this run however, that I realized that I really do like to run. Outside of training or any concrete goal, on the days that I can go out, with no pressure, clean (as opposed to muddled) thoughts in my head, I love to run. There are occasions that I hate running, don't get me wrong. But yesterday was not one of those days. Yesterday it was all about me and my legs. I felt connected to my body and realized that I'll be closing in on my last great runs sooner than I think. That despite all of the struggles I've had this summer with keeping my spirits up, not getting into my head too much, doubting my abilities, despite all that, I've still managed to come pretty far. And I've had the most amazing person beside me the whole time. I'm grateful that I can push my body as much as I do and get results.

As I was crossing the trail and heading back home, I acknowledged that despite the many months that I won't be able to go for a run like that, come this time next year, I'll be able to do it without any pain. My body has been put through the ringer the last several of years and it’s done pretty well. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. I love triathlons. I love training with Pete, Marie and Molly. I want to meet more people like us to train with and learn from. I don't want to stop. So in order to keep doing what I'm doing, I need to stop and take care of myself.

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